The Top 3 Reasons Social Media is Like Recess

Yes, it’s an odd analogy…but bear with me here. I believe that (unless you were a grade school dropout) you already know all you need to know to be successful with social media. Why’s that? In a nutshell: times may have changed but people fundamentally haven’t. The structures and interactions of a grade school recess are astonishingly similar to those of most social media communities.

The same people that show up in your Twitter stream and your Facebook feed are the very same characters you caught eating glue in kindergarten. Here are only 3 of the ways I believe that social media is like recess:

#1: The big group is made up of lots of small groups.

There is no single Twitter community: it’s a collection of tens of thousands of small networks of ‘followers’ that share some commonality. There is no single Facebook or LinkedIn community: just thousands of networks of friends and affinities hubbed around an individual. These networks (or circles of friends standing around on asphalt) are made and stay together by shared interests, where each member of the group has actively made a decision to participate. And this is the interesting part:.you can’t join a group by just standing on the sidelines. You have to get in the game.

Lesson: Find your place in a smaller group. Some people play football, some play with dolls. Recess is too short for both.

#2: Every group’s got a leader.

Every teacher knows how to quickly identity the ‘troublemaker’ in every group. At recess, these troublemakers usually decided what sport they would play or who the topic of the latest gossip would be. When they grow up, these kids will be re-branded “passionate” and “motivated”, but until then, they’ll be visiting the principal’s office frequently. Similarly, most successful social media operations reflect the personality and interests of one individual: Chris Brogan, Gary Vaynerchuk, Leo LaPorte, Mike Arrington, Seth Godin, Robert Scoble, Jason Calacanis, etc. These e-celebs have fostered their networks (and generated gigabytes of monthly traffic) by identifying and holding true to the field in which they love. They also share one other trait: they aren’t afraid to stir the pot every once in a while.

Lesson: If you want to take a leadership position in that smaller group, you need to be willing to stir the pot every once in while, even if it lands you in the principal’s office.

#3: Your actions have consequences.

Whether it’s on the playground or on Twitter, everyone loves to watch a good meltdown, right? There’s a not-so-secret thrill in seeing other people publicly self-destruct. (Evidence here). The difference is that online, those meltdowns stay in the public domain forever. Your friends might have forgotten that time you cried when your 6th grade girlfriend dumped you for the older, more sophisticated 7th grader, but the Internet never forgets. Worth remembering the next time you want to fire off a zinger reply to some snotty comment troll.

Lesson: What happens at recess, does not stay at recess. Remember that.

My point? You’ve seen this all before: on the playground, in your home and at the office. Success in those arenas, as well as social media, comes down to how well you relate to people. You’d be much better off reading Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” (written in 1937) than any of the “Secrets of Social Media Success” crap.

Man, I loved recess.

Question for you: what other analogies seem relevant to social media or digital marketing?  I’d love to hear your thoughts – comment below!

NOTE: I originally posted this on Beth Harte’s blog.  She’s got a great mind and a lot to offer you, so you should go subscribe to her blog.

  • I heard someone say today that success in business was like recess, you need to let go of the monkey swing to make your way to the other side.

    Seems we all need to get back to the playground!
  • scottsauce
    Hey Steve, as I sat and thought about this, I had an idea that social media could be understood in terms of chaos theory. I began to write and realized i needed to apply a bit of thought to it...which I will. At that point I'll write a bit more extensively on it...but for now, the points that hit me were these:

    Four observations from Chaos Theory that shed light on Social Media:

    1. Self-Similarity
    2. Sensitive Dependance on Initial Conditions
    3. Strange Attractors draw potential energry into unique relationships
    4. Bottomless wonders spring from simple rules...repeated without end.*


    *Benoit Mandelbrot's talk on TED is fabulous... it really inspired me. http://www.ted.com/talks/benoit_mandelbrot_fractals_the_art_of_roughness.html
  • Scott - great thoughts and I'd love to hear more. I'm not as up on chaos theory as you are, but I'm a big fan of Mandelbrot. Thanks for your thoughts!
  • nice post Steve. (did you really cry? dang.)

    ok.. haven't ever thought of this before - so i really should take more time... but hey - recess is short.

    i'm going with .... swimming.
    i'm in my element in the pool. not completely sure why.. but i feel extremely safe there.
    thinking of the ubiquity of my online connections - is reminding me just now of that very feeling.
    the water is everywhere, always, holding me together and making me stronger.
  • Monika - great analogy - I especially like the bit about ubiquity. It certainly makes me stronger as well!
  • My first impressions of social media: a packed exhibition hall or a Saturday-morning market, full of noise, bright colours and lights, a sea of rows/directions. I get anxious in crowds, so for me, trepidation is mixed in with the anticipation. As you mention "finding your place" is important. I now set out cloth bags in hand each day to find fresh insights in the channels and networks I follow and I've even set up a stall so I can share in turn what I've cultivated!
  • Karen - great analogy! I especially love the thought of the cloth bags in each hand to find fresh insights. Good luck with your stall!
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